New Leaf

I haven't written in awhile Emi. Forgive me for that. It's been pretty hectic. 

Let's see- what can I tell you?
Erika and Jesse are job hunting. (I wonder- will you still know who Jesse is in the future?)
I am still in the Military. 
Lupe is- 

Ah well... I don't really know what to tell you as far as Lupe is concerned. I made this for you to understand. I don't want you knowing about all the strife and grief in our family. We can't hide it forever though.

I remember being young and discovering things about our family. But- who am I to tell you their so well hidden faults? No- no it is not my place. 

Erika and I talked about mom. We talk about her like she's still here on  Earth. I told you they were best friends right?

I miss her so much Emily. I feel so lost without her. I don't know how you can bear growing up without her. 

She loves salads. Loves seafood. She loves HGTV and crime shows. She loves old black and white movies and has the most amazing singing voice. She has dyed her hair so many times I forget what her real hair color is. 

Mama told me when she was a baby her hair color was blonde and she had blue eyes. When we knew her they had already turned hazel. 

She loves gardens. She loves you. 

Yes- you were her miracle. Tell me Emi- do you remember all the games you played? Do you remember all that time you spent with her?

God- this post is so pathetic. I want to freeze time where I am still with her. 

My heart hurts so much Emily.